Monday, January 14, 2008
Because Life Can't Get Much Funnier
So I had to go home for lunch today to pick up a few things I needed. I also needed to let the cats out. So I park in my usual place in the driveway. I was jammin' to some oldies on the way home with the windows and sunroof open, so that's the way I left the car in the driveway. I go inside, gather up my stuff on my list, let the cats out, and chill. Oh, I ate a cucumber. Oh man it was so good! So I'm getting ready to leave and I gather up my pile of papers and head towards the garage. Oops, I forgot to close the front door. I head over there and decide, "why not just go out the front door?" so I do. I turn the lock in the doorknob, step out the door and close the door. Right on top of my skirt. Great. Here I am standing at the front door, holding the screen door open with my butt, my hands full of papers and I'm stuck. I put down the papers and begin to search my purse for my front door keys. Now, you must know I never go in the front door because why should I if I can just go through the garage, right? Um, dammit, no keys in my purse. Oooooh yeahhhhh, I remember taking them out the other day and putting them on the dresser. Ok, no keys. I think, "maybe I can just pull the skirt out". Ha! No way. There is too much skirt under the door to pull it out. I considered tearing it, but then I'd have no skirt, so that's a bad idea. I stand there for a few minutes trying to come up with a plan. Oh, I got it! I can go in the garage door and go around to open the door, but I have to take my skirt off first. If I run real fast, no one in the neighborhood will see me. Yeah right. That's always the time they see you. Ok, me in my high heels, knee high pantyhose, panties and blouse is just not sexy. So, I try to come up with yet another alternate plan. Just as I'm about to give up and remove the skirt, I hear, "Hello! How are you?" It's the mailman! Yippee! He is the nicest mailman ever, so I ask him if he can help me out. He looks at the situation and says, "how about if I push the door and you pull the skirt?" Well, he pushed and pushed and it was a no go. I say, "I have a plan" and he says "NO! Do not take your skirt off!" I laugh and say, "No, can you open the garage door with the opener in my car, go in and open the door from the inside?" He said that was a much better idea than me running around in my panties. Of course, that plan worked just fine. Can't you just hear the mail carriers swapping stories of crazy shit that has happened on their route? Just think if I had removed my skirt and done the run around, I would've run into the mailman. Now THAT would be funny.